coastin along

what's up, nobody who reads this blog.

I feel like since being back in Cali, everything and nothing has happened.
I've been going on silly-ass adventures every other day, and the days in between scrambling to get a job.
I've made a goal for myself to never have another job that doesn't pay me for being creative. No more cafes, no more stores, none of that. I'm done. It's a little scary but I know I can do it.

Since being home, I've gotten 2 more paint commissions, caught up with so many friends I hadn't seen since moving away, am currently teaching myself French and guitar, and going to the gym everyday. good bye, 7lbs of Portland weight. Also teaching myself After Effects, which is a total pain in the balls but I know it'll be worth it.

It's funny, i remember the feeling of complete disdain I had for southern CA when I first moved away.
I hated it here.
well,..maybe not hated,
but completely spent.
The stupid clogged freeways, and the smoggy air.
The people, the heat.
those depressing walks down the streets of Hollywood at 1:46 AM after a night of drinks, friends' voices softly penetrating the drunken halo over your head, the sidewalk stars with some names you knew, some you didn't.
The hot, dry air.
The city. The anxiety of finding a place to park and hoping to god you don't return to your car to find outrageous tickets, or your car missing from being lovingly towed away.
The 405, the 10, the 2.
The Burbank lunch traffic.
The venues you were dragged into, to see bands play you didn't wanna see.
The suffocating pressure on appearance and looks.

I HATED all these things.

and now that I'm back, I'm strangely grateful for all of them.
Being away made me realize
I hate them because I love them.
And i love them because i hate them.

They are all annoying relatives that now that I'm back, realize how much I love. I want to hug the 5 freeway. And the Budweiser factory off the 405, which always makes the air smell like baking bread in the late afternoon. I wave at the Getty, perched on top of the hill, watching over Santa Monica like a wise old professor. The familiar Warner Bros. tower, the other studios embedded in Burbank and all the memories that come with them. Driving through Coldwater Canyon, telling the houses they still look great.

It makes me happy to see my friends beginning to scatter throughout the city into their own places. Their charming little apartments/shared houses in Los Feliz, Silverlake, Highland Park, and Culver City. And it's exciting to know I will join them soon.

This is where I need to be.
Thank you, Portland, for helping me realize that.